I’ve been suffering recently from TDS (Telecommunications Deficiency Syndrome) which is endemic to South Africa and is caused by Telkom.  This has affected my non-work web browsing, subsequent posts and general lurking on the Internet.

The summary of the problem is that I moved within my townhouse complex from one unit to another and six weeks later I still have not been able to move the ADSL line.  Funny that it is possible to organise a truck, movers, cleaners, boxes and cats when moving house, but it is impossible to get a guy in a Telkom truck to ‘re-patch’ four wires in a distribution box at the complex – even with a couple of weeks’ notice.

I could rant and rave, describing the weeks of frustration that I have gone through, but since the problem is endemic everybody has the same problem and I have nothing new to add.  No-one is really interested in hearing yet another rant about Telkom and neither do they care – particularly Telkom.  Talking about Telkom problems is like talking about the weather… a conversation filler when people have very little to say to each other.

(Jack and Bob are ex colleagues who meet in the frozen food section in Woolies)
Jack: Hi Bob, how are you?
Bob: Fine, and you?
Jack: Can’t complain.  How are you wife and kids?
Bob: They’re fine, but have had the ‘flu.
Jack: I can imagine, with all this weather!
Bob: Yes, it is unseasonal.
Jack: How are your Telkom problems?
Bob: The usual - high costs, no service.
Jack: Yeah, same here.  Been down for the last two weeks.
(uncomfortable silence)
Bob: (Shuffling) Anyway, my ice-cream is melting – gotta go
Jack: Ok, Bye. Good luck with the ‘flu
Bob: Thanks.  Luckily it won’t last forever. Bye.

It seems strange that Telkom made such a big deal about www.hellkom.co.za – does anybody really think that such a website will do anything to tarnish Telkom’s reputation?  Is it even possible to tarnish something that doesn’t exist?  Every Telkom consumer knows how useless and disinterested Telkom is – trying to start a negative publicity campaign about Telkom is like trying to start a group to communicate how much of a moron Mugabe is – no one will fund you as we know already.

I hope that you get through your current TDS with as little suffering as possible.

Simon Munro